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Year's Best Headlines of 2006

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Imagine that!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far.

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
What???

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Now that's just nasty!

Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Those lazy bums.

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial.

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect.

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
You think so?

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought?

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
He probably is the battery charge.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans.

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Now that's just a bit extreme.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?