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An Irish Daughter

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed at her and said, "Where have ye been all this time?  Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?  Why didn't ye call?  Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "(Sniff, sniff) Dad . . . I became a prostitute."

"Ye what!!?  Out of here, ye shameless harlot!  Sinner!  You're a disgrace to this family."

"Okay, Dad.  As ye wish.  I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a 5 million dollar savings certificate.  For me little brother, this gold Rolex.  And for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and . . ."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

The girl, crying again, replied "(Sniff, sniff) A prostitute, Dad!"

"Oh blatherin' blatherskite!  Ye scared me half to death, girl!  I thought ye said a Protestant.  Come here and give yer old man a hug!"