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What The Wife Finds

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady.

She yells, "You unfaithful, disrespectful pig!  What are you doing?  How dare you do this to me!  Me . . . the faithful wife . . . the mother of your children!  I'm leaving this house.  I want a divorce!"

The husband replies, "Wait a minute!  Before you leave, at least listen to what happened."

The wife says, "Hmmmmm.  I don't know.  Well, it'll be the last thing I will ever hear from you.  But make it fast, you unfaithful pig."

The husband begins to tell his story . . .

"While I was driving home, this young lady asked me for a ride.  When I saw her, she seemed so defenseless.  So I went ahead and allowed her to get into my car.  I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.  She mentioned that she had not eaten for 3 days.

With great compassion and hurt, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight.  The poor thing practically devoured them.

Since she was very dirty, I asked her to take a shower.  While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw her clothes away.

Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had for a few years but can no longer wear because they are too tight on you.  I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary that you don't wear because you said I don't have good taste.  I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister.  I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."

The husband continues his story . . .

"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.  When we got to the door, she turned around, and with tears coming out of her eyes she asked me, "Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?"